top of page

Chained much?

Shift into your metaphoric gear if you haven’t already done so. So, are you? How do you even know that? 

Like the literal realm, chains are inhibiting, heavy, painful to tow.  Maybe the baggage left by your tendencies to please all but yourself is becoming mainstream knowledge to you.

Or just maybe, the squeaks from those cracked and soon-to collapse walls in your life representing career, friendships, relationships or health are getting louder than your ego’s ability to ignore them. You are not being yourself, not doing right by you, you may not admit it to the fella next to you, you just know it. 

That knowledge sucks, I can’t think of  better way to put it, it’s downright painful. Deep down in your truth, you know it, life can be more than what it is. You are not meant to feel all lost and grumpy about that thing or those folks. But let’s face it, you darn well do. 

Shame is nothing new to you, you take blame as frequently as you take a shower. Not responsibility, shaming blame.

Someone imperfect, somewhere, probably with the best of intentions for you, programmed your subconscious with what they deemed right for you. You had no choice but to believe them, you had to, they were in charge of the few things you required back then. They had power over the love you were a little sucker for. They even had dominion over your food and shelter, life skills and all else that your needy little self, well, needed.


So you took on the owner’s manual they masterminded, as something thats inherently your own. And now, the adult and able you  walks around the grand stage of life modeling thoughts, looks, friendships, relationships, outlooks and biases you so believe are yours.


But recently, you seem to be questioning the legitimacy of that owner’s manual you have been accustomed to referencing down your life’s pathway. The windy, rocky trails of living has taken you places and showed you way too much, you just can’t ignore the disconnect your emerging true self seems to have with the reality your subconscious beliefs help created. You have crossed paths with rejection, depression, failure, heartbreak, self doubt and carry with you the anxiety to dodge them on your life map ahead. Bad news, you are so very chained up. Good news, me and you are right in tune. 

What’s good about this news, you might ask. Good one!  not only because misery enjoys company, but I also happen to have the audacity to say I can help.   


I was born  and raised in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. Before life took me places and bent me until I broke, I lived off of the validation of others. I aimed to please, from parent all the way to strangers, in an effort to earn love and approval. I know a thing or two about the pain of giving birth to a truer version of myself with each battle life throws my way. Proudly, I carry  beautiful scars from a version of me that existed before. Scars without which I wouldn’t stay grounded. I am an ex wife co-parenting a son who makes my heart smile. A brave second timer married to a man who continues to show me why I am worth it all. A loving step-mother with  two beautiful little souls to help shape. An immigrant who knows how to function in two completely different worlds. And many things in between. 


If you are still reading this, (BRAVO!) in these times of severe ADD, you are either finding your life described in one way or another, or you enjoy my writing. Doesn’t matter, I am so glad you decided to visit and actually came this far. If you enjoy traveling, a little amateur photography, poetry and soulful food, you are in luck. All of the above bring me joy.


'unchainingme' is about setting ourselves free from unconscious ways of thinking, behaving, doing. Bringing to awareness the ways we are not following the path to finding our true selves. Evolving. what do you say? Let’s get unchained!

bottom of page