A habitual procrastinator, a habitual media consumer, a habitual impulse shopper, a habitual people pleaser, a habitual smoker. Over the last decade, it was increasingly apparent that I had the habit of, well, piking one bad habit after another.
Sometimes a few bad habits at once.
All my life I have been told about my talents and potential. From teachers and family members to strangers. When I eventually started truly believing in my qualities, I was also faced with a deep seated knowing that If one thing stood between me and my dreams, it was HABITS.
I somehow reverted to easy, least effort paths that offered the quickest gratification.
While I could have done a lot with that realization, looking at myself through the lens of judgement and not gentle curiosity ensured that I repeated more and more of what I didn't like. The more I believed I was simply "lazy" and that "something was wrong with me", I was less and less motivated to change.
I needed a lesson on acceptance and self-compassion first.
That came in the package of a 198 LB reading on the scale that somehow did not default to self loathing. I paused and noticed the difference. Something had changed. I didn't hate who I was anymore, I no longer despised where I was. I was ready to work on my habits.
When the student is ready, the teacher appears.
My teacher appeared in the form of a self-help book I had piked up at Barnes and Noble more than a year ago but only skimmed through. Blame my habits. I picked it back up with yearning this time. I had a person I loved unconditionally (ME) whom I desired to bless with the fruits of good habits.
Atomic Habits by James Clear hanged the way I habit. More than anything, It helped me understand that the reasons I labeled myself lazy for doing or not doing simply made me a human being. They meant I was a species that evolved to take the path of least resistance for reasons had not understood before reading this book. With the weight of negativity now lifted, I could soar.
Soar into the beautiful process of forming good habits. Moving my body, reflecting on my thoughts, planning out my days, nourishing and hydrating my amazing body, rising up at 5 AM to nurture the introvert in me with much needed solitude, to brush and floss my wonderful teeth every night, to love on my beautiful skin. One good habit to another, forming the very life I could once only dream of.
The power of tiny habits when they are carried out consistently started adding more growth and majesty to my life through stacking other powerful habits. My life simply changed.
On the 37th day since I completed my first tiny habit, I decided to share this shift with you through this week's podcast.
It is my sincere hope that this podcast will get you into the mode of self-exploration that comes from curious compassion towards yourselves. You need you to work with you so remember to go easy on you!
Get the book and soak in all the knowledge in it. Use your habits to elevate your experience of this one wonderful life.
With Love,
Keep Unchaining!
Great read! Thanks for sharing your journey on breaking bad habits and building new good ones. Acceptance and self- compassion are very important first steps. We need to first acknowledge the reality with self forgiveness and being mindful about balancing our negative emotions.
P.S. I highly recommend Atomic Habits. It is one of my favorites. The book is a great reference on habit changing.